Great gym exercise - punching people in the face!

[Dr Durden 0]

Screw the mind-numbingly boring Elliptical machine.

Lifting weights on machines is too repetitive.

You need to change it up and start injuring people who have no gym etiquette. They are morons and will always be morons, so they deserve it. Right?

Here's a few targets that are in every gym that will surely challenge even the most in-shape guys around...

- The nubnutz that drops the dumbells 4 feet above the bench after he's done with his chest press. For him, it's a self-worth booster; for you, a perfect opptunity to work on your right hook!

- Mr Upright Row With Wayyytomuchpuckingweight. Give him an upper cut just before his last rep of body-swinging the bar to his chin. I mean, what you're really doing is saving him from at least 6 varieties of shoulder surgery.

- Lazy doufus. He's been on the low row for 11 minutes reading the paper between sets. A great way to remind him that the gym doesn't revolve around his sitting down sets is to elbo him in the back of the head. Do it lightly at first and then when he turns to look, 5 finger death blow to the jaw. No more low row machine for this dickhead, just drinking the rest of his meals through a straw.

This is obviously a joke. But anyone that goes to a gym knows exactly what I'm talking about. Feel free to add some new targets to give the routine more variety or intensity.

Edited July 16, 2008 by FoxPro5

[SEBASTO 1]

[coobies5 43]

bahahah

[johnecon2001 82]

The first one is the worst. Guys who do squats seem to like this the most.

[dem beats 1,223]

When I was lifting frequently I was "that big guy" at the gym. I was at a complete yuppie fest gym place. Cute girls that just pissed me off because they looks good and were filled with air, and guys in polo shirts trying desperately not to break a sweat. It was clean and close with a pool so it was perfect, save the clientel.

My favorites were

- Mr. gonna help you guy. WTF. I don't need your help. If I didn't ask you to spot me, don't come a running if I'm pushing hard and I get a bit red in the face. Beleive me. I'm not even a grunter or screaming lifter. fawk.

- The 130 pound guy doing 10 pound dumbell presses, letting me know that I'm gonn hurt myself with that form. The guru told him that this "back side double knucckle roll tuck fist side hand 45 degree half hitch scissor grip" will really get me results like it did for him. No matter the fact I'm putting up 2 times his body weight.

- The teenager. OMG. I was one, probably pissed someoen off in my day too. These are the worst because they were told by someone how to do something, and they are loyal like dogs to who ever got to them first. And they WILL hurt themselves. They also try to keep up with guys who have years training on them and look for the short cut. "you gotta be juicin' man!!! dude got a hook up?? If I was on juice I could totaly do more because....blah blah blah. Ronnie coleman eats babies that's why he's #1!!!". I never loose my temper on them, they haven't lived long enough to see the dedication it takes, and are sure they can do it. They infuriate me to no end, but really, they just need someone level headed to show them the ropes. Some are just arrogant and cocky though, and teach the other bad behavior. I wanna pop those maggots like grapes. Stack 1200 lbs on a sled and then sit on it. Then tell them this is what we do for reps. Heavy lifting is next week.

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

What about the a-hole who parks his XLR in the first handi-cap spot everyday, but clearly has no handi-cap.

[///M5 2,833]

Idiots should die.

[ABXX49 20]

There was this guy who used to come to my gym (actually a high ranking city official) who would immediately tear his shirt off so all that remained were these little tiny (borderline indecent exposure) shorts and his terrifyingly hairy back. Every time he would pick up a dumbbell or bar he would spit right on his hands...EVERY TIME...talk about something to piss you off.

[bigrank916 72]

Holy shit! This has got to be some of the funniest stuff Ive read here yet!

My favorite is the guy doing bench 3-4 times a week and he is doing the same exact workout everytime. Just plain ole flat back. No variation whatsoever for like 3 months...till he gets hurt.

And the screamers. I call them the screamin eagles. Or d-bags for short. Its usually just 2 or 3 guys that all have headphones on and yell at each other because their deathmetal is blaring in their domes. Not that I dont like a little Slipknot or Pantera while Im lifting myself but shit man...get a clue.

And the worst. The guy who sweats all over the machines with no towel in sight. Then procedes to sweat on the drinking fountain as well. Phuck man! Its ridiculous.

[Thumpper 266]

my sister owns a fitness center and a boxing club...I could write a book about

all the dumb shit I have witnessed some of these so called know everything

tough guys and rich mommies boys over the years,,some of them deserve

a smack in the side of the head with a wet loaf of bread

[thor02 2]

Lol at this whole thread.

[patented17 21]

Well the good thing about all of this, is the squat rack is always open. As about 90% in my gym are doing bench press.

[Godsmack 360]

New favorite.........girls who go with a guy to flirt with him and try and get his dick without seeming like a wh0re. While your spending 20 minutes doing fucked up tricep pullbacks with a 10 lb dumbell, there is someone who needed that bench woman. Go to his chu and rip it out of his shorts. He won't mind ur forwardness. I promise.

J

[Kanaworm$ 292]

These are all the reasons I quit going to any local gym or fitness center during peak times.

[Godsmack 360]

Yea non-peak times dont work for me. Not out here.

J

[bassahaulic 155]

I'm just getting back into working out and I HATE going any time but like Mid-night. So many stupid mother fuckers.

The WORST around here are the high school kids coming in thinking they own the place. I was doing light bench reps at 225 and got up to get a drink, I come back to see two high school kids struggling to get the weight off the guy.

I was like "You need help?" They responded with "Nah man we do this all the time."

This thread had me ROLLING though. lol!!

[Kanaworm$ 292]

I come back to see two high school kids struggling to get the weight off the guy.

I was like "You need help?" They responded with "Nah man we do this all the time."

that is the best!

The ones that get me are the posers and fashion gurus. Guys that stand around looking at themselves in all the mirrors but yet don't do a thing but walk around in their current fashion statement drinking some gourmet bottled water!

[Godsmack 360]

I come back to see two high school kids struggling to get the weight off the guy.

I was like "You need help?" They responded with "Nah man we do this all the time."

that is the best!

The ones that get me are the posers and fashion gurus. Guys that stand around looking at themselves in all the mirrors but yet don't do a thing but walk around in their current fashion statement drinking some gourmet bottled water!

The mirror jockeys are the 2nd worst. Especially since they love to syand in the loading zone (approx 2-3 ft from the dumbell racks) The worst by far (sorry if I named someone else #1 before) is the people who take like 7 pieces of equipment (ez curl bars, cable machines, etc) and work rotating sets between them and 2 or 3 other people and wont let anyone work in. Seriously learn to share the shit, or find a new routine. You claim u been workin out hard for 10 years and I never see you move any SERIOUS weight.

J