jntar

You guys want to hit 21k? we do have all three trigger fingers in here

Its blocked for me

x2

damn straight... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> ROFL... I vote for Jack. But I dont think that we can allow many more exemptions.... Of course, Denim >>> Me. <shrug> -Nick <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I say give it to him too, but who am I?

> A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was > nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope > propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, > "Dad". > > > > > Wiith the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter > with trembling hands: > > > Dear Dad, > > > It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope > with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and > you. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even > with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But > it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will > be very happy. > > > Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she > already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the > whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's > now one of my dreams too. > > > Joan taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be > growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine > and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find > a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!! > > > Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of > myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know > your grandchildren. > > > Your son, > John > > > PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. > I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my > report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is > safe for me to come home

Subject: FW: I Always Wondered For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C. When one of these women gets married, she brings with her, a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States.

> Subject: Wal-Mart Bargain > To: > > > > > > A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's > birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and > goes over to the counter. A Wal-Mart associate is standing there > wearing dark shades. > > > She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and > reel? > > > He says,"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the > counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the > sound it makes." > > > She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. > > > He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 > reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and > it's on sale this week for only $20.00." > > > She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound > of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, > her credit card drops on the floor. > > > "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says. > > > She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first > she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind > clerk could tell it was she who farted. Being blind, he wouldn't know > that she was only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, > That'll be $34.50 please." > > > The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it > was on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?" > > > He replies, "Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call > is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50."

Top Ten most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down......... by David Letterman 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson..... 6. Elvis is leaving the building. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus. And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped..... 1. I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts.

Subject: Re: The Bacon Tree > > A couple of Mexicans have been lost in the desert for weeks. > > At death's door, they see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer, > they see that it's draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon: smoked bacon, > crispy bacon, life-giving nearly-raw juicy bacon, all sorts of bacon. > > "Hey, Pepi" says the first Mexican, "ees a bacon tree! We're saved!!" > > So Pepi goes on ahead and runs up to the tree. As he gets to within five > feet, he's gunned down in a hail of bullets. > > His friend drops down on the sand and calls across to the dying Pepi. > "Pepi!! Pepi!! Que pasa hombre?" > > With his last breath Pepi calls out, "Ugh, run, amigo, run, ees not a > bacon tree, ees a ham bush".

Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which, by mistake, happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously, but it was all empty and quiet. "Hello?" she cried, but no answer.. "Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled at the top of her voice "HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?" and from somewhere far, far away she heard....... I l "We're down here!"