marriage

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after

the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and

I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on

table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go

hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old

buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules.

Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that

there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether

you're here or not."

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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th

wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads:

"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone

that reads:

"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

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Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"

and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends

and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the

irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

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Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so

proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite

of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go

home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He

shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right

back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

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glad my wife knows who's boss........

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee