u must read this!!!

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an

early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered

for early retirement a bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a

straight line between any two points in his body. The officer's got

to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the

top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet

and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be

measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He

walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he

would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my penis to my

testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to

reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received.

But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the

measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em",

which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip

of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly

exclaimed, Where are your testicles?"

The Captain calmly replied..."Vietnam"

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee