ZIPPERS

Q: What's the difference between a woman's zipper and a man's zipper?

A: When a woman unzips her pants, her brains don't fall out.

CAREFUL

Eva is talking to her best friend. "I have to be damned careful not to

get pregnant," Eva says. "I thought your husband had a vasectomy," her

friend says. Eva replies, "He did!"

I'M DEAD

An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a

good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch

me."

Why not?" he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead." The husband

says,"What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and

talking to one another." She says, "No, I'm definitely dead." He

insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're

dead?"

"Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts."

OFF MY CHEST

A very pert and attractive female employee meets with her boss and says,

"I'd like to get something off my chest." "What's that?" asks the boss.

"Your eyes," she replies.

THERAPY

Marvin had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek

the aid of a psychiatrist. At the psychiatrist's office, Marvin spilled

his guts, then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to

make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked Marvin a few questions, took

some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled

look

on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said,

"I think your problem is low self-esteem. It's very common among losers."

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I like the "CAREFUL" one... good job.

I like the "CAREFUL" one... good job.

therapy cracked me up..

" low self esteem is common among losers"

hehe

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Therapy is a classic.

- Steve