Off Topic

http://www.getannoyed.com/

>A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class >on a plane. The woman sneezes, then takes a tissue and gently >wipes it between her legs. The man isn't sure he saw what she >did and decides he is probably hallucinating. A few minutes >pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue and gently >wipes it between her legs. The man is about to go nuts. He >can't believe that he's seeing what he's seeing. >A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She >takes a tissue and gently wipes it between her legs yet again. > >The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the >woman and says, "Three times you've…

A Texan is drinking in a Florida bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about about average back home, folks...like I said, my boy's a typical Texas baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!" were heard. One woman actually fainted to sympathy pains. Two weeks later the Texan returns to the bar.The bartender says, "Say, you are…

Can any of you Photoshop wizards whip up a couple logos for me ... don't need to spend tons of time on it, just a simple logo. All it needs to contain is "2005" ... it'll eventually wind up on my vehicle somewhere. Color can be used. A cool font is good - straight lines is cool as well. Doesn't have to be too large. Size 30-40 is plenty. I like backgrounds such as ... ... the lighter blue part. I seen some other examples somewhere where there was text was blended into the background. Thanks for any help. - Steve

check it out.. http://audioforum.termpro.com/cgi-bin/ubb/...c;f=38;t=013577

http://content.ugoto.com/?id=2203&type=4 lowest i got was 32 seconds

This movie was absolutely hillarious. I love all of the satire about the liberal media. The Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) and Sean Penn's description of iraq before we were there, was just hillarious. I would suggest that everybody see this: for one it is hillarious, and many of the things are just crazy (puppet sex scene); and it puts this crap that the media spews out every day into a whole different perspective. It excells as a comedy, and as a satire. Even if I wasn't as informed about politics as I am now, I still would have found it hillarious, but that extra knowledge just made it so much better. Definately a must see, cough up the $7.50 (or the buck o' five[see th…

Every time I go there nobody is there. Is there a certain time people go there or do just not a lot of people use it?

Okay skipped 1st class to sleep and kinda forgot the extra sleep. Went to philosophy and talked to my friend Ryan. Ryan calls this kid who has had His Rockford that I want, sence least summer. Kid calls Ryan back after class and tells Ryan to have m go get it later. Well in the meantime we go look at a friends old beat ass rice Neon. Rice rims, and bad tint. Needs a starter. Well Ryan looks to buy it and I tell chris (my friend) to go get the amp with me. On the drive home I suggest my Pioneer TS-W33C subs all 4 of them and a home made basically wall, and my old Pioneer amp the Rockford would be replasing for his 1995 Dodge Neon SE. He calls his dad and his dad agrees. No…

Questions that really need answers... 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?" 2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt." 3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car-pool lane? 6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the roo…

How to impress a woman: Cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, wine and dine her, care for her, stand by her, support her. How to impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer. lots o'beer...hehehahahahehehaa wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

watch it here!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

http://www.autotrader.com/fyc/vdp.jsp?num_...&&ac_afflt=none

My kids learne a new lesson today. The VCR will not play DVD's no matter how many you put in.

wait till the end of the commercial....yep......steve is a movie star!!!! steve's (ss3079) commercial wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A young blonde woman in Shreveport was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Red River. She went to the Texas Street bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the bridge, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for." I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a f…

first post of the day.....hehe where is everyone? wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Well, I decided to do it, and it was simple. I read this article and figured, if a big news site says its real, its gotta be, right? I did the ancestry.com offer, and I gave them my CC info, and got credit right away, then called 1800-Ancestry and talked to the guy and cancelled right after. So how bout you sign up with my referral link, and I'll give you 5 bucks or sumthin? It's painless I promise I already have 1, I just need 4. I'll let you know if I eventually get it. Sure beats the hell out of spending 300 bucks. P.S. You can get a 20 gig one now.

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 50 cents, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with …

I went to camaroz28.com and I found some brand new headers from a guy for my new car for 450 shipped so I sent him an email (not looking at his 4 post count all in the same post). Well, I wait about a week and decide I will buy them. The money clears, and I never hear from the guy again. Well, it has been 2 weeks, so I decide to do some research (which I should have done before). Apparently he gives me a fake address 31st street in Madison, NJ. I went on mapquest and there are no numbered streets in madison. He also said in his post that they were on a t/a, but in an email he said he took them off of his camaro. So I filed a complaint with paypal and they say they will g…

You are at the wedding... You are a total Diva.. The best dress, a perfect hairdo... You fall in love with an invited guest... You get secret looks the entire night... On the dance floor, he's by your side constantly, &he dances like a God... You are the couple of the evening... The anticipated moment has arrived for all single women... The bride is about to throw the bouquet... You are first in line, in a strategic position... Once there, you wait for the right moment... You look at him sensually, and with your eyes you tell him. If I catch the bouquet........ I Will Marry You! And then, the moment you've been waiting for... The bride throws the bouque…

A guy from Canada walks into a bar in Arkansas, and orders a white wine. All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pityful Yankee from up north. The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?" The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada." The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?" The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?" "No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi. I mount animals." The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us!" hehehahahahehehhaha wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

How refreshing! Just when you have lost faith in human kindness ...... Someone who teaches at a Middle School in Safety Harbor, Florida forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch, as a door prize, and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all human kind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today! .. see her letter below: Dear Safety Harbor Middle School : God bless you for the beautiful radio won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted…

Defense Attorney: > > >> What is your age? > > >> > > >> Little old Woman: > > >> I am 86 years old. > > >> > > >> Defense Attorney: > > >> Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? > > >> > > >> Little old Woman: > > >> There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm > > >> spring > > >>evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down > > >>beside > > >>me. > > >> > > >> > > >> Defense Attorney: > > …