Off Topic

A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back. So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girl friend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back." semper fi! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

hehe... wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

http://www.soundillusions.net/modules.php?...showpage&pid=20

I hope to have pix soon

A man and a woman were dating. She being of a religious >>nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he >>wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even >>seen her naked. >>One day, as they drove >>down the freeway, >>she remarked about his >>slow driving habits. >>"I can't stand it anymore," she told him. "Let's play a game. For >>every 5 miles per hour over the speed limit you drive, I"ll >>remove one piece of clothing. >>He enthusiastically agreed and sped up the car. >>He reached the 55 MPH mark, so she took off her blouse. >>At 60 off came the pants. >>At 65 it was her bra and…

This is a great example of "Did I say that out loud?" This actually > >happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a biology class, > >The professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which > >gives the sperm all the energy for their journey. > > > >A female freshman raised her hand and asked, "If I understand, you're > >saying there > >Is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?" > > > >"That's correct," responded the professor, going on to add statistical > >info. Raising her hand again, she asked, > > > >"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?" After a stunned silence, the …

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The >surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small >knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten >up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, >the woman wanted "The Knob." > > >Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the >effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. > >After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two >problems: > >"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to >turn the knob many tim…

Toward the end of the golf course, Harry somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden, POOF!, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared. She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!" THEN POOF!....she w…

Bubba and Earl were in a local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn each had won a prize. Earl won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti!" Earl asked Bubba, "How about you? How's the toilet brush?" "Not so good," replied Bubba. "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper." wheeeeee…

A man was talking to his buddy, and said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How'd it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling -- I'll see you in two hours!" wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

its a store called "BEALLS" but the "E" was out so it says "BALLS" lol this or the pic of my rims, what do yall think? thanx Tom

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. "None, they all fly away with the first gunshot." The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking." Then Little Johnny says, "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the …

Maria was a devoted, religious girl. She got married and had 17 children. Then her husband died. She remarried two weeks later, and had 22 children by her next husband. Then he died. A while later, she died. At the funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At least they're finally together." A guy sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?" The priest said, "I mean her legs." wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Top Nine Things Men SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud In Victoria's Secret: 9) No Thanks. Just Sniffing. 8) I'll be in the dressing room going blind. 7) Mom will love this. 6) Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable. 5) No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here. 4) Will you model this for me??? 3) The Miracle What??? This is better than world peace!! 2) Forty Five bucks?? You're just gonna end up naked ANYWAY!! And the number one thing that a man should never, ever say out loud in Victoria's Secret: 1) Oh, honey, you'll NEVER squeeze your ass into that!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny...keep me potent." The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours." The guy says, "Gimme three boxes." The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's jewels are black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. …

A man is at work one day when he notices that his male co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in fashion sense. "Yo, Bob, I didn't know you were into earrings." "Oh, yeah, sure," says Bob sheepishly. "Really? How long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in our bed." oops.... wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Got some money finally and got some Koda 8s on the way until the SI drivers are ready. Ah, I feel it coming together. Only thing left is the HU. Thank God!

New Mint Flavored Birth Control Pill The Cadbury's Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co. Have combined to market the new Mint flavored birth control pill that women may take immediately before sex. The Pill will be distributed by the large major drug store chains and Wal-Mart's Pharmacies. They're going to be called.... "Pre-dick-a-mints." wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She went to the counter and questioned the clerk. "I wanted to buy my husband a pet, but all of yours are so expensive",she said. "Well,"said the clerk, "I have a huge bullfrog in the back for $50.00. Would you like to see it?" "$50.00?? For a Frog??" asked the woman. The clerk said, "It's a special frog. It gives blow jobs." Well, the woman did not particularly enjoy giving head, so, she thought his was a heck of a deal. She'd get her husband a gift he'd surely enjoy, and she'd never have to do that again. The woman decided to buy the frog…

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work. Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!"

Mr Honda, of the Honda Motor Corporation, died and went to heaven for judgement. At the gates, St. Peter told Mr Honda, "since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven." Mr Honda thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God. I have a question for Him". St. Peter took Mr Honda to the Throne Room and introduced him to God. He then asked God, "Aren't you the inventor of women?" God Said, "Ah, yes. Indeed I am". "Well," said Mr Honda, "Professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your design." 1- There's too much inconsistency in t…

To quote Kent........ wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(no slayer)

OK say a person is a MOD at like say 14 forums. Is that enough. Why should that person keep hoggin all the MOD statuses from all the rest of the fellows who are also good canadates for MOD... What I am asking is::when is it too much????

Aaron is at a girls house. Any details Aaron? How was it? You get da hook up lol . Any pics of the chick? aaron is