For those who aren't married yet. Set your rules out with the in-laws right away. I did, but her mother is still a douchebag. I banned her from phoning our home ... actually, banned her altogether from our home last year (around the same time I bought my two newest handguns, go figure). Anyway, flat out told the female dog ... don't even drive down my goddamn street. It's 6:00AM and I'm sleeping. You know, I like to sleep once in a while after working a 50 hour week. Nope. Phone rings. It's the female dog. "I'm bleeding, come over here - you're going to have to take me to the hospital." Hangs up. Can't drive the truck, I just flat out won't let her in it. The Mazda is too hard to get into apparently. The IROC, you're kidding me. So I line my wifes (don't know how that works as I'm pretty sure I make the payments) passenger seat with black garbage bags and drive over there. "What took you so long?" You're kidding me, I go ... you're standing there and you look fine. "I'm bleeding." Right on, where's the blood? "In my pants, I'm bleeding from my ass." Almost chit my pants laughing, but brought her to the hospital and dropped her off at the ER door ... politely reminded her to never phone my home again. She has a LifeLine, and I'm pretty sure 911 works fine - but noooo, God forbid we have to pay 50 bucks for an ambulance. She phones from the hospital, wife answers, looks at me, "Go pick my moth ..." 'Yeah, yeah ... I'm going.' Pick her up, bring her home, and politely remind her again that I'm pucking her daughter hard every night of the week. I doubt she'll phone over again. She ruined our wedding and our life since then, so if you ever doubt your soon to be in-laws or in-laws, lay down the goddamn law before they screw things up for you. I'm serious here ... don't give them a key to your house, get caller ID and don't tell them about it, just don't even tell them where you live or have a phone period.