Well you fell off the wagon again. From what you said that seemed to be alot of the issue. Honestly from everything you have said about your past and now jumping off the wagon..........you have no one to blame but yourself here bro. Stand up, dump the booze down the fucking drain, put on your big girl panties and man up homie. I say this not to be a dick, but because I deal enough with the 'whoa is me' mentality every fucking day and honestly it makes me sick. My career and a good chunk of my life has gone down the shitter. Yes the unit I am in is a large part of it, but I made my own choices and must now sleep in the bed I made. J