Welcome to the IHoP

[Duran 387]

Maybe a little lol.

Talk to Jake lol

Your team sundown worthy

I did when I first got my SAZ3000D, he said no. I proudly represent my gear though

lol thats mean..

That is mean.

Here want a

Haha no thinks, I'm not a party guy anymore.

[RobClay 20]

im sure jacob has his reasons...

like i said.. get your stuff going... and it will fall in place.

I hope. It's okay if it doesn't though. Life will be the same

If it doesnt we got room for ya here \/ haha

[jonbearsmt 919]

Maybe a little lol.

Talk to Jake lol

Your team sundown worthy

I did when I first got my SAZ3000D, he said no. I proudly represent my gear though

lol thats mean..

That is mean.

Here want a

Haha no thinks, I'm not a party guy anymore.

anymore... shhh... how old are you 18?

[jonbearsmt 919]

im gonna have a booth at a car show in march gonna meter it up BOI

[Duran 387]

Maybe a little lol.

Talk to Jake lol

Your team sundown worthy

I did when I first got my SAZ3000D, he said no. I proudly represent my gear though

lol thats mean..

That is mean.

Here want a

Haha no thinks, I'm not a party guy anymore.

anymore... shhh... how old are you 18?

Haha I will be in 20 days. Some bad stuff happened to me while drinking, I don't do it unless It's safe now...

[bassahaulic 155]

Sorry for the Cell videos lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOBf74Ne8mI Dropped to only 13.7

[jonbearsmt 919]

If it doesnt we got room for ya here \/ haha

i wanted that team name bangin on a budget... but its taken... frozen mixed vegetable cocks! in the words of randy. from TPB

[bassahaulic 155]

I don't drink at all...... I am what do they call it....... Straight Edge? No drugs or drinking?

[bassahaulic 155]

Leave my Youtube vids comments!!!!!

[RobClay 20]

If it doesnt we got room for ya here \/ haha

i wanted that team name bangin on a budget... but its taken... frozen vegetable cocks! in the words of randy. from TPB

LOL wow fvc ftw!

[RobClay 20]

t0p

[Duran 387]

I don't drink at all...... I am what do they call it....... Straight Edge? No drugs or drinking?

Are you the straight edge type that kicks the shit out of people that do drink and do drugs?

[bassahaulic 155]

I don't drink at all...... I am what do they call it....... Straight Edge? No drugs or drinking?

Are you the straight edge type that kicks the chit out of people that do drink and do drugs?

NO!!!!! That would be mean. I am a nice guy, I help all the drunk/fudged up people get home safe.

[bassahaulic 155]

Everyone watch the video's!! =)

[Duran 387]

I don't drink at all...... I am what do they call it....... Straight Edge? No drugs or drinking?

Are you the straight edge type that kicks the chit out of people that do drink and do drugs?

NO!!!!! That would be mean. I am a nice guy, I help all the drunk/fudged up people get home safe.

That's the way to go!

Since you said that you are fine by me

[jonbearsmt 919]

I don't drink at all...... I am what do they call it....... Straight Edge? No drugs or drinking?

lol no thay call that "no worries" give it 10 years buddy!

stright edge is like no advil, no meds, no drink, no alot of shit... like nothing.... nothing for pain nothing...

[Duran 387]

Everyone watch the video's!! =)

I did, the senior guy was funny.

[RobClay 20]

When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.

I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my **** to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.

Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.

I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.

Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.

She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I **** love women.

So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my **** out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.

She stuck her finger up my ass.

My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.

I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL ****, all over her parents comforter.

No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest **** and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.

And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.

I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the ****.

I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in **** and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.

Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.

I grab my **** with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.

I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest **** of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.

Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a **** and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY ****!". It was one of those moments.

The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.

I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.

Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I **** on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.

That has got to be the funniest story/post ive ever read

[Duran 387]

^ Read it a while ago on here

[RobClay 20]

^ Read it a while ago on here

I still laugh my ass of everytime i read it

[jonbearsmt 919]

whos post was it?

[bassahaulic 155]

OMG HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

[jonbearsmt 919]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMtzzjr3Wrw

1:38 seconds. check it out..

[Duran 387]

whos post was it?

I think it was peng...it didn't happen to him though(so he says) he got it from another forum.

[bassahaulic 155]

Well everyone I am out for the night.

But not asleep .

So feel free to text me. 225-505-3218. I am in a race with a few friends now so i need people to text. First person to 20,000 wins.