Welcome to the IHoP

[topgun 262]

I'm fricking tired of work... Getting tired of this crap.

[dem beats 1,223]

I want to work.... but only certain jobs, or for certain amounts of phat lewt.

[jonbearsmt 919]

im stuck in a relationship with a spoiled child that has all the excuses in the world for her self all the self pitty in the world, no respect for me, and i just want to walk away.

fuck my life.

on the other hand. i hear her that im too independent to strong headed,. and have too much pride...... but of o was not the man i am.... she would not be where she is..... and every thing i provide for her go un noticed and un accounted for. why cant she just remember what its like struggling. and admit she has it all flowers and daisy

[Tirefryr 1,742]

Sounds like someone needs a gut check. Do what you gotta do Jon, and take care of yourself first, because without you, there is nothing.

[trod2902 26]

Take it all away, and she'll realize what she had

[dem beats 1,223]

im stuck in a relationship with a spoiled child that has all the excuses in the world for her self all the self pitty in the world, no respect for me, and i just want to walk away.

fuck my life.

on the other hand. i hear her that im too independent to strong headed,. and have too much pride...... but of o was not the man i am.... she would not be where she is..... and every thing i provide for her go un noticed and un accounted for. why cant she just remember what its like struggling. and admit she has it all flowers and daisy

Regulate.

It sounds like you want this to work, she must have something that attracted you to her other than good pussy or you wouldn't be stressing this. That is not a bad thing man. It's being growed up.

Go to a neutral place. Not your homes, some park or place neither of you has specific feelings about. Just make sure it's pseudo private.

Hash it out, tell her how you feel. Make sure she understands you. If she refuses, then say goodbye. But you have to listen to her also.

[jonbearsmt 919]

well after 3 hours.. of up and down convo, and confronting... once again she says understand who the boss is.. and i steer this ship the way i do because i know the best path.... and that she understand if i run this ship on to the rock.. i will resole the problem.... and not leave it every man for them selfs......

i think she offten thinks she 21 can steer this ship better then me 29,... and thats just not the truth... and as i tell her every time she bitches ... you dont have to be on this ship... you can swim at any time.....

i refuse to let a captin with less expericance steer my ship ( control my life) ..... this is the way it is.... if you choose to stay....

its black and white...

she says she understand..... i guess he will see... this is not the first time tho..... 3 years later and we still struggle with the same issues...

i do love her... but the way i grew up......... no one but me set the rules..... so if shit goes south.. i have no one to blame but my self.....

i like it that way.

some times i get sad because i have lost friends along the way... it happends with age i think.....

but tonight she threw it in my face that its because im too hard on people..... and i expect too much from peers.

but the way i see it.. i have never needed any one... and im doing just fine with out those people... and i will continue to ...iu have never needed anyone... not even a mother... so the thought of needing a g/f is out of this world to me.

i see it as flattering that i choose to keep her in my life..... she finds it offensive that i find her disposable... but thats just me.thats who i am. my life has made me this way.

it confusing to me because im not a hard person to understand... im very blunt.. i express my wants needs and concourses very well.... people are so used to others being miss leading and fake that they add a sense of mystery into what is fact..... they make up or try to counter act what they think.... if that makes sense?

[jonbearsmt 919]

i do love the girl... other wise i would not be on here talking about my feelings....its not me....

but she dont see it.

[dem beats 1,223]

Jon, if you don't want to compromise and you are open to her about it, then that is all there is to it.

I hope though, from the bottom of my heart, you can accept other people to help you....

No one is alone in this. You buy your groceries, and a hell of a lot of people had to hustle to get it there. You have employees, you should know that without them, you could not get the same amount of work done without them.

In life our relationships are the same.

I pity anyone who sees people as disposable. Maybe that isn't what you meant, but it's what you said. I don't even know how you can love something that you feel is throw away.

[jonbearsmt 919]

in my personal life.... that is how i feel... and it may just be ... because sence the age of 14.... i had to think this way to push on.... never want never need anyone.. there ... i could never he hurt or rejected by anyone........

self preservation i guess.... i can understand how its hard to love a man like me.... but at the same time... its hard for me to change the only way i know.

[Godsmack 360]

I hear what your saying Jon. You seemed to have gone the opposite way of most people who cling to anyone who is willing to get close.

While people may be 'disposable' as you called them, but the problem is each and every person in our life fills a void we cannot or have not been able to fill on our own. When they leave (by their own choice or by ours) we are left to attempt to refill that void. Often, depending on the depth of their involvement in our life, as people we tend to fill this void with booze, drugs, promiscuity or other self destructive behavior. This typically causes more voids and more for us to fill and self destructive behavior sets in more. Its a never ending cycle.

I know she seems to think she can play captain all the time. Honestly IMO in situations like this, let her play captain at small shit (ie where to eat, what movie to watch, what side of the couch she gets) and she is happy. You still keep the helm on big decisions (money, where to live, what you do on your time off) and its smoother sailing. Relinquishing a bit of control at times is for the best. I know this saying doesn't completely apply here but, 'My favorite thing is to give Privates a task and see how many different ways they can come up with to accomplish the task.'.

Just really think about that quote and maybe it will help.

J

[sandt38 448]

I'm just an old Catholic. The man is the head of the household, and that is it. What I say goes, but if anyone else in the house has something to say, I will listen. However, you have to bend. I try to make sure that what I am deciding is something everyone can enjoy, or needs, or whatever. You can't be selfish. If she asks for something, decide weather or not it will work for both of you. If it is one sided, put your foot down, but you had best have an alternative that will work for both of you.

[///M5 2,833]

Be careful what you wish for as well. A complete dominate or lack thereof relationship over time will take it's toll on the one who is dominated. Battles should be picked where a difference is made. You have to give some things up to maintain the rest. Ye olde 80/20 rule is a rather good one to stick by.

[///M5 2,833]

My bitch better have my money, through rain, sleet, or snow. My whore better have my money. Not half, not some, but ALL my cash.

[MKader17 332]

For Matt2

[The enD 467]

[jonbearsmt 919]

fuck i was drunk........

but just for the recorded i do let her choose and decide anything that is not course changing, i only control what has a direct effect on lifestyle and well being. anything else she can decide,

we worked it out.. like we always do... but well see what happens.

[jonbearsmt 919]

oh, thanks guys for being understanding, and offering solid advice .

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

Glad to hear things are better Jon!

[Aaron Clinton 2,372]

Oh crap, first Junior Seau now this: http://www.tmz.com/2012/05/04/beastie-boys-adam-yauch-dead/

[j-roadtatts 1,129]

R.I.P. Homie

[ssh 924]

Twelve o'clock, Time to eat!

[jonbearsmt 919]

[Godsmack 360]

Ok who's going to be number 3?

J

[Adrian_D 520]

work, what is that?

X2

Speaking of work, our office is close to the airport and there was a guy in an Extra 300 practicing for tomorrow's air show. It was funny seeing about 30 people glued to the window looking at plane stunts